Coming HOME :)

 Beginning of November 2011-

We knew at this point all we needed was for Linlee to go 24 hours without a heart rate drop. This shouldn't be a problem considering she never has them. Of course, that is when they started to occur. She would have 1 in a 24 hr period and the 24 hours would start over. That didn't happen much but I do know it was very discouraging. FINALLY on November 12th 2011 our sweet girl was ready. Matthew and I chose to go alone to pick her up. Even though every family member from Moms to cousins though they would get to come with us. lol

Having Linlee and bringing her home took a toll on my life. For the past 3 maybe 4 years I have struggled with anxiety. I felt like Linlee was my world, my meaning, and no one else mattered. That attitude caused great problems with Matthew and I. I still can't honestly say I regret acting the way I did. I almost lost my beautiful baby girl. If I wanted to sleep in the living room, just me and her.. I was going to do it! These emotions were in full swing the day we brought her home. We had a huge fight that morning and didn't even speak on the way to get her. I don't remember why I felt the way I did but it was almost like I resented him for no reason. Maybe I could see the future and what was ahead for us as a "family". :/

Anyway, we got to the hospital, parked the car and raced to the elevator. When we were walking down the long hall towards the NICU Matthew grabbed my hand and said "I can't believe this is the last time we will have to walk this hallway." We suited up (wash hands, put on gown) and went in to dress our girl in her "coming home" out fit. We waited for instructions and discharge info. A lady came out and said Linlee lacked one more shot and it would possibly cause fever and HR drops. "Umm okay, so we can't take her?!" I was about to go off on somebody! She said it would be our choice, we could leave her for 12 more hours or just hope for the best reaction to the shot. SEE YA LADY!

More Journal Entries...

*Monday, October 3, 2011

Our princess is still doing great. She is now 2lbs 11 oz. Over the weekend we were visiting with her and ended up getting to hold her 2 days in a row! It was so sweet seeing Matthew hold her for the first time. He kept saying "I'm so happy" over and over. Today, Mommy and Linlee had mother/daughter time. I went to the hospital by myself and just talked to her awhile. She is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. If she keeps gaining an ounce a day she will be 4 pounds by the end of this month. ***Editors note: She was over 4lbs by the end of October. God is so good!***

*Saturday, October 8th, 2011

Linlee has improved more than ever over the past week. She is now 3lbs!!! On Thursday they had to give her 14cc's of blood but that is to be expected with them drawing blood so much. As of today she is taking 22cc's of milk and tolerating it well. Two more great things have happened: She is no longer getting oxygen and they have discontinued her IV fluids. While we were with her last night she was sucking on her feeding tube. In the next few weeks she will be ready to try a bottle. Thank you Lord!

(holding my little munchkin)

*Sunday, October 16, 2011

Things have been pretty much the same with Linlee. She has gained around an ounce a day is now up to 3 lbs and 8 oz. She is doing so good. Yesterday, she started bottle feeding. She takes all the milk from the bottle unless she is tired then we use the g-tube for the rest. Four pounds, here we come!!

*Sunday, October 23, 2011

Linlee has had 0 heart rate drops. A nurse told me she would be in a crib(and out of the "box") very soon. Friday night, she took a whole bottle for me. She hasn't been able to do a whole bottle every time but she at least does half. I feel like this whole process is getting faster and faster. I can't wait to get the call to bring her home. Today, she is FOUR lbs!! She is growing so good. Hopefully within the next week we will get a NICU open crib. After that, all she has to do is take a full bottle all day long by herself.

*October 27, 2011

Today, Linlee is 4lbs and 6oz. She has been on air temp for 3 days. (maintaining her own temp) She takes most of her feedings by bottle but still having to use the tube on occasion. She has come such a long way. We get to hold her more now and it is a great feeling. She smiled a lot but we can't ever catch it on camera. lol I will admit, I am starting to get a little depressed with all of this. I want her home so bad! :(

 

(I loved feeding her, it made me feel like a mommy)

 

(October 24th.. sleeping angel) 

 

(Happy Halloween from the NICU, Linlee, & her PawPaw)

 

(Our first Halloween with miss priss) 

 

(Mommy dressed up as a trucker & Linlee as a princess of course) 

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Everyone that knows me knows how close my sister and I have become. When we were little I used to think "Gosh, this chick is mean!". Now I couldn't thank the Lord enough for blessing me with such a great role model and sister. NICU rules are that only parents and grandparents can visit. I remember one day my sweet clueless daddy said, Lacey can have my turn. I loved seeing the love in my dads eyes when we went back together. Those visits meant the world to him and he was willing to give one up for Lacey. That alone shows a parents unconditional love. Anyway, it was one of the hardest things I dealt with during are NICU time. Now I love everyone, but besides my mom (and now linlee) no one has my heart like Lacey Hightower. (She married and I had the baby, that's the line I always use). There were days Lacey would cry knowing she had a niece in the world and not being able to see her. I prayed Lord please give her patience. An emotional day for us all, and a day she and I will never forget.... the first time she laid hands on her "precious"....

 

(Aunt Lacey & Linlee; November 2, 2011)