We knew at this point all we needed was for Linlee to go 24 hours without a heart rate drop. This shouldn't be a problem considering she never has them. Of course, that is when they started to occur. She would have 1 in a 24 hr period and the 24 hours would start over. That didn't happen much but I do know it was very discouraging. FINALLY on November 12th 2011 our sweet girl was ready. Matthew and I chose to go alone to pick her up. Even though every family member from Moms to cousins though they would get to come with us. lol
Having Linlee and bringing her home took a toll on my life. For the past 3 maybe 4 years I have struggled with anxiety. I felt like Linlee was my world, my meaning, and no one else mattered. That attitude caused great problems with Matthew and I. I still can't honestly say I regret acting the way I did. I almost lost my beautiful baby girl. If I wanted to sleep in the living room, just me and her.. I was going to do it! These emotions were in full swing the day we brought her home. We had a huge fight that morning and didn't even speak on the way to get her. I don't remember why I felt the way I did but it was almost like I resented him for no reason. Maybe I could see the future and what was ahead for us as a "family". :/
Anyway, we got to the hospital, parked the car and raced to the elevator. When we were walking down the long hall towards the NICU Matthew grabbed my hand and said "I can't believe this is the last time we will have to walk this hallway." We suited up (wash hands, put on gown) and went in to dress our girl in her "coming home" out fit. We waited for instructions and discharge info. A lady came out and said Linlee lacked one more shot and it would possibly cause fever and HR drops. "Umm okay, so we can't take her?!" I was about to go off on somebody! She said it would be our choice, we could leave her for 12 more hours or just hope for the best reaction to the shot. SEE YA LADY!
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